Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
