Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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