drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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