He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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