i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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