i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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