It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
