We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
