I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i think i have two assholes
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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