tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
