Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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