this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
