She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
