Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize