she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
