Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
