ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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