The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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