I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
