Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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