The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
