flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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