With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
