I have demons in me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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