look no pants
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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