So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
