You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
