what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
