Don't make out with my wife yet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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