it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
