Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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