i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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