I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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