Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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