Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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