I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
