what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
