even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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