i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
