I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
