my vag is so smooth its legendary
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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