just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
