you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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