You made me cry and you don't even care
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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