Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
