My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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