You work out of a Hotel?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
