you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
