woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
