i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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