1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
