i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
