In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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