Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
