Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
