Screwed.edu
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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