you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
