i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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