why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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