Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”