What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She has the best kind of daddy issues
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.