office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
