I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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